double or nothing

my words get tangled because I'm not sure what to say.

these things are only preoccupations. i don't imbue them with any seriousness. my sensations are not nuanced enough to distinguish sharp pains from dull aches.

there's so much i want to express. keep my cards close to my chest. hand over heart. counting suits. full houses and littles straight.

truth is i'm not a player.
i throw out aces and wild cards.