shimmer

the beautiful thing about redemption is that you can always find it in something.

last night it found me between whiskey and the smooth refractions of light. a soft shimmer over the surface as my soul quietly slips in the back door in the early hours.

i let water run over my skin until i am shining again. until the world is no longer an illusion that swirls around me and the rushing of my heartbeat slows with steady breaths.

i greet myself like an old friend, with smiles and slightly watered eyes.

how your garden grows

one cannot make compost with clean hands.

I get it under my fingernails; the things that have rotted, the shit i've collected, the clippings of outgrown branches.

paitently turned. layer upon layer. a process of careful sorting and applied spacial geometry.

contained in isolation. flooded in light. and heat. and time.

we turn again.

this is the simple alchemy of living.
it is the stuff from which we grow.

an island

the city never ceases beneath me. Tonight i am an island rising out of the air. I am straining through concrete to retrace my journey back to the earth. I am searching for stars to navigate by against a sky awash with light. This too shall pass by the corridor seems narrow. I play roulette with anger, sorrow and fear. I struggle for something specific. Fall into floatation and prayer.

Shortly

Sometimes the past rises to meet us,like a road.

All things must settle and find their place. This is the only commandment of time.Dividends are had to calculate. We must be wise with what we invest.

There is a road but no map worth consulting.
This is why I follow the sky.

a simple meditation

the dawn sweeps the darkness from my skin.

i emerge from my skull. through eyes. through mouth. words long scoured for dissolve into simple routine. yesterdays anxieties healed through these actions. through gentle repeatition we find peace.

there is a salve for all sores. a soloution to every conundrum that confronts us with pursed lips and waving arms.

i find courage in domesticity. a small mediatation on the humanity embedded in the process of living. passed softly from hand to hand

moorings

days pass like salt and pepper, politely across tables. i flick fine grains over my shoulder to ward the devil from my side.

these certain revoloutions. palpably poignent. like boats we dance around our moorings. changing perspective with the wind.

the early morning light shines rainbows through the percipitation. I am every colour reflected in the trick of an eye. I savour each hue licked from fingers. I am a vessel for every emotion passed through bodies long abandoned. I am a switchboard for wisdom so ancient it outlives words.

my soul rests in other realms.
yet i am wholly of this earth.

these paradoxes are comforting.
i navigate by the stars.

a day for softness

things settle softly, like feathers falling to earth. i navigate broken down trees and washed out rivers. head always turned to the sky.

when it rains it pours. heavens open to mimic us. human endeavours oscillate like tides. i lay in this salty soup and watch the moon.

change seems sudden and all this slow shifting reminds us that there are always forks in the road. i deep breathe through day time. practice paitence for as long as i can muster the courage to think of other things.

i am not without joy. my body startled. i sink into clean sheets and dream of other places.

reflection

then that night the sky ripped itself apart in recollections of my childhood home. Sometimes good things come in ugly packages. I overwhelm myself with clarity as the storm swirls against my window. These turning points are the signposts to enlightenment. I bless that which i cannot know.

almost like home

between the cicadas and the cloudlines I could swear i'm almost home.

the sky becomes closer, leans on us, hovers over shoulder to make sure we do right. colliding with trees and masking the planets. i am closer to the earth these days.

i am in the final stages of retracting into myself. the year closes in a whirl of deadlines and solitude. what is almost apparent is palapably transformational.

i sit quietly to avoid startling the truth.

the opposite of diaspora

stone catching the sunset like a glance from an old lover. I'm almost startled the wildflowers are still in bloom. Like a child at a party i want to drink all this colour before the ground is flattened by dryness again. There is a sudden expansion as if remembering for the first time all the reasons why i stay in this town. The tail of the year shooing flies from my face. Almost far away enough to be seen from behind

white wine and whiskey

drinking white wine and listening to songs about whiskey. Moody monsoon dried in desert days. Comfortable longings and grateful solitude. A calm certainty in an unknown future unrolling like red carpet before me.

sojourn

sometimes we sing because we have no other option.

my heart goes into retreat. overwhelmed by waves of familiarity. disconnection from the purring dial tones and reciever hum.

i am a stray satellite. weaving through the sky with a drunkards grace. looping under constellations until my meanings are derived from the tails of fallen angels. swooping like magpies between heaven and earth.

retroperspectives

the morning i wept in the park. knuckles kneading the earth despairing the death of all beauty. for everything timeless that has had it's time.

redemption in a single bed.

finding stillness in the shifting sunrise and the quiet companionship of a cigerette.

running because i didn't know what might come out of mouth.

running because i have no other options when my heart explodes (i'm just worried i might kill someone y'know).

her steady witness to the sorrow pouring out of my body.

late night confessions in a crowded room.

relinquishing all worldly possesions at the gates of heaven.

loving because there is nothing left to let go of.

the soft synchronisation of breath.

upon reflection

the devil needs no details when caught between the deep blue sea.

i turn pages until the slate is clean. scratch my name into the surface so i know i've been here. time expands to eat all that i am and leaves me breathless with it's pace.

i retrace my steps until the journey is completed. i walk concentric circles until the only way is out.

i am searching for my redemption in parking lots.
i find it wedged between empty space.